the ghost of you is haunting me, desperately
by lightninglightstheway
Summary: A collection of drabbles focused on how Stefan's absence is effecting his friends and family
1. Elena

Her tears have stopped staining her pillow case. Doesn't mean she's stopped crying, just means she's stopped crying in her sleep. It's been a month and it feels like everyone has continued on like there isn't something terribly wrong. Stefan is gone. He's not lying next to her, he's not teasing her about her clumsiness in the morning or laughing at the pout on her lips. He's gone and has been gone and might stay gone. No phone calls, no emails, no texts, no letters. There's nothing.

And everyone is going on. Caroline spends most of her time glued to Tyler's side and if she's not with him then she's constantly hovering around her. Caroline makes plans and she forces her to go out. Elena tries her hardest to smile for her and mean it. She tries so damn hard but she knows that her friend can see through it and so she tries harder and Caroline tries harder. They both try harder and harder and harder and still it makes no difference.

Damon spends most of his time with Alaric or attached to Andie in some way. Sometimes Elena just wants to be with him, at least for a little while. He's Stefan's brother and being close to him makes her feel that in some way she's close to Stefan. But then she'll look in Damon's eyes and just for a moment she'll forget about Stefan and that makes her stomach twist and her heart skip a beat. She hates that feeling so she runs from it, choosing instead to deal with Damon in small bursts. Just enough time to talk to him about a possible clue that could lead them to Klaus. Stefan's with Klaus. He has to be because if he isn't then….Elena doesn't let her mind wander down that track.

The rest of her friends go on because Stefan doesn't mean as much to them. Bonnie tries everything she can think of but she's given up too. All she says is that he'll come home and Elena clings to that because Bonnie knows these things. When Bonnie says something is going to happen that thing usually does so at night Elena whispers those words to herself.

Stefan will come home.

Stefan will come home.

Stefan will come home to me.

He will.

Her brother is the best at making her feel better. He lets her hang out in the corner on his ratty black bean bag chair and he doesn't say a word. He doesn't ask her any questions just let's her sit and watch him draw. And sometimes, when it's been a bad night, he'll come into her room and hold her until she stops crying.

And so the days pass.

And they pass.

And they pass.

And then it's her birthday.

She thinks maybe today.


	2. Caroline

**AN: I went with Caroline because I see her as being the next important lady in his life, under Elena. Lexi's clearly at the top but considering Damon killed her *still bitter* she won't be in this set of drabbles. Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p><em>I promise you, I won't let anything happen to you<em>

He spoke those words to her once. He let his lips wrap around the letters and his breath expel the syllables, and so she believed him.

She let the tone of his voice sink into her heart and let the warmth of his arms protect her from the clawing hunger.

She was a fool to let him be her constant. Everyone leaves. She knows that but somehow…somehow she thought he would be different. When he held her in that cold, dreary bathroom with her veined skin and blood stained lips, she felt safe enough to breathe. It'd been so long, much longer than the time between her waking up as a monster and him telling her that she wasn't.

And she understands what he did. She gets that Damon's his constant. That despite the way his lips curl when he talks about the way Damon use to treat him or how he treated her, there was love in his eyes. Broken, shattered love that hadn't faded over time. So when he sold himself to Klaus, she understood.

It's just…now she has no one who really understands.

Tyler, as much as she's growing to love him, can't really understand. They are both supernatural but there are as many differences between werewolves and vampires as there are similarities and she's reminded of that every moment she spends with him.

Damon.

She can't look at Damon without remembering the feel of his hands on her body and the way he made her feel so alive. Or remembering how he would cruelly demean her and then use her. She remembers. Food and a release. That's all she was to him and he was everything to her. She doesn't like remembering that girl, doesn't like knowing that some part of her would do it again because at least she had something that Elena didn't. She knew what it was like to feel Damon all around her and inside of her. She knows how it burns and the thought disgusts her. She stays away from Damon unless she absolutely needs to talk to him. It's easier that way.

Bonnie still looks at her like she's looking for something. Sometimes she wonders if she's looking for her humanity.

Elena's too busy playing the dutiful girlfriend. Deny. Deny. Deny. Bodies found up the coast, down the coast. All Klaus. Can't be Stefan. Stefan wouldn't do that. Stefan has his bloodlust under control. You saw how he was with that bag when Damon staked him in the gut. You saw. He was completely fine. It's not Stefan. It's got to be Klaus.

Jeremy doesn't count and Matt…Matt doesn't want to talk to her.

See. No one.

No one to stroll up to her in the woods with a bunny in his hand and a smile on his face. No one to laugh at her ridiculousness while hunting. No one to grab her hand and rub circles on her skin when her control slips. No one…no one to be there with _you__don__'__t__have__to__pretend__with__me_ and eyes that make her believe in those words.

She told Tyler. Well…she yelled at him.

_The hunger is crawling under her skin and she feels so itchy. She just needs to scratch it. Just once. She'll be careful. She will she knows she will._

"_Caroline, are you listening to me?"_

_Her head snaps in his direction. The veins come to the surface and she knows that she must look like the monster she feels like._

_He stops and takes a step forward before stopping._

"_I'll go get you a blood bag."_

"_I don't want one."_

_He looks confused. "But…."_

"_I said I don't want one!"_

_His hands go up and she can smell his anger before his telling nose twitch._

"_What do you want then?"_

_What does she want? She wants not to be like this. She wants to be normal again. She wants to be able to breathe._

_She shakes her head._

"_It doesn't matter. What I want is miles away from here. He's feeding on people and breaking promises he made to himself and to me. And I feel like I'm going to burst from my skin and he's the only one who knows how to calm me down. How am I supposed to do this without him? I can't breathe, Tyler. I just want to take a breath."_

_He stands speechless._

And then she woke up.

She told Tyler in a dream and then promptly decided to never let that happen like that in real life. She lets him know in little ways instead. She playfully tells him that now that Stefan's gone he has to go bunny hunting with her. She pokes and prods, settling Stefan's name into random conversation.

It's all she has left of her constant.


End file.
